4 steps to Heart-centered leadership
In this blog, I am going to share the four steps I took to go from an unconscious and angry addict to a heart-centered leader.
#1 The first milestone was the burning desire for change.
Life started pretty rough for me. I was sexually molested from age 3-11 . From this trauma, I developed extreme anger, fear of intimacy, and codependency. After enlisting in the Military, I also developed a painful addiction to drugs and alcohol.
I hit rock bottom when I came home to a rat-infested house in the ghetto that had just been broken into and robbed, to receive a SNAP CHAT that said: “Carlos is dead”.
After an immense amount of suffering, this snap chat was the final straw. I had a shift in consciousness. I knew that this wasn’t all there was to life, and I was meant for more.
It was like I could finally see the world for what it truly was. There was life in everything.
I wanted more but I had no funking clue where to start.
Which brings me to milestone 2.
Learning how to shift.
I had to own the fact that I had no idea what I was doing. I was sure good at acting like I knew what I was doing, which was funking great because as it turns out: if you’re acting like you’re doing it…….. YOU’RE ACTUALLY DOING IT!
I started going really fast in many directions. I failed about ten business launches. From selling on amazon to fitness training. Ziali yoga was a bust considering I knew nothing about yoga.
I was headed in the right DIRECTIONS, but I needed clarity on what I actually wanted. I finally decided to commit to something. I knew I wanted to teach. I have always wanted to be a teacher. (And a marine biologist, and a lawyer, and a journalist, and a unicorn trainer as my father would say.)
It was his dream for me to settle down with a rich doctor and become a nurse. The universe and my free-will having ass had other plans.
This walks me right into the third major milestone in my journey:
Awakening to personal truth and vision.
With this new clarity, all I knew was that I had a lot of work to do. I was seeking refuge at this point. I needed ANYONE to care about me (including myself).
When I was in the army, I found meditation and loved it. I googled Buddhism in KC and found temple Buddhist center on the plaza, which I now call my home and center for spiritual nourishment.
I kept going each week despite how uncomfortable it made me.
One morning, a beautiful and delicate older woman named Macha said to me: “Good morning Whitney” (I have told this story a million times over, and still get tears in my eyes typing about this amazing memory. Macha is an angel.)
That was it. That was all it took for me to decide that I was going to get everything together. I wouldn’t drink or do drugs anymore.
I had a few slip-ups after that, but each time it wasn’t like “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING!?”
I had compassion. I just kept building momentum in mindfulness. I told myself that it was okay that I made a mistake, but I wasn’t going to go easy on myself if I was tempted to do it again.
I removed all temptations. I committed to doing shadow work.
I had a huge fear of my masculine energy because I have hurt so many people in my past when I was in a toxic, unconscious, masculine energy.
I am still doing the work. I am still learning to love my intensity. Now, instead of reacting when I feel anger, I just sit with it. I can feel it in my body, and within a matter of seconds, it passes.
Meditation and mindfulness is a practice. There is always more to learn and ways to surrender deeper.
I declared my personal truth and vision and began deeply embodying all that I saw for myself.
I enhanced my energy by releasing all that wasn’t mine.
Which brings me right to milestone 4. The final major milestone that I have hit in my journey.
Creating my core principles and aligned action plan.
25 years. That is how long I was unconsciously trusting and creating. There were a lot of paradigms that needed to be shattered.
There were beliefs that I had and still have that were so ingrained in my mind, that I have to consciously choose to release them every day.
I learned to surrender. I created a clear list of values, principles, and commitments to myself and now, I live by this document. I review it each day and I am committed to being the woman that is on that paper.
I have been teaching hundreds of leaders like you how to do exactly what I just said. This isn’t rocket science, you just have to be willing to put in the work. I just gave you the steps. You can write those down and pursue them.
If you are looking for further support, I would love to have you in my private Facebook group for conscious leaders with similar values and morals. Come evolve, explore, and empower.
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Is leadership calling to you?
I am excited to hear about your journey. Let me know season of life you are in and how I can support you.
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